hey vrash!this is slightly odd leaving two comments in a day that too consecutively but i did not see this post earlier.Perhaps it was a doing of nature so that i see this post later as it may cloud my "home minded nostalgia". Well from the post i'd gather you have broken ties with a relationship which has been going on for a long time.If its anything other then that, then ill suggest u ignore what i have to say and save ur time.haha...but knowing the human mind u might still read it anyway right??well a step forward, a step to be responsible for the actions is always the MOST difficult i should say!and really i have to honestly say "hats off" it takes a lot of courage and strength to actually call off a relationship especially if its a long standing one and the worst bit is second guessing yourself which you are inevitably still doing that as it shows in your blog.Well to be honest it just shows the characther of the person you are really.OK the next bit of info is not meant to make u soft but to make u realise certain facts of life.The fact that ur second guessing just simply shows you want to even now give the relationship and him everything u have and can offer,despite the trouble/problems u may have faced.That for one clearly shows that you're a really genuine person.But hold on my dear,stop second guessing yourself
you and i both know the path of love and relationships is never a smooth one...leave alone marriage and family...now if your start up...which is the first part love and relationship is turbulent what gurantee do you have the second would be any better?now im sure your friends/family and support ppl will be saying all the needfull to you.But something i feel i can share with you is.Vrash stop second guessing yourself, letting go and moving on is not a bad thing and you know that.Its not about trying harder anymore,its about accepting the reality of certain scenarios in life and yes most ppl will say oh u deserve someone better.Now im not one to judge and i totally HATE that sentence you deserve someone better its a sad defence mechanism
cause to be honest you know you're partially cheating yourself cause if you really did you wouldnt have lasted this long.having said that i do not mean ok now run back and salvage it.what i mean is accept it as it comes do NOT fight it with negative thoughts or bad memories.every bad memory u throw in ur mind to overcome the pain of love left in you will only make it one day further from you liberating yourself from this emotion.Remember this no one, can help you alleviate your emotions but you,and the only way you would ever be able to do that is if you come to terms in this sense look on the reality of the relationship it deserves something better.Both of you do.You had a beautiful relationship to start with and now maybe it has been lost and both of you deserve a relationship like the one you had and you know that you cant find it in this anymore(dont second guess yourself 1 year is a long trial time)now dont let this go in a bad memory.Everyone comes into our lives for a reason.some make us laugh,some make us angry,some make us sad,some dont make a difference!Dont always thank the people that make you laugh thank the people that made you sad and angry as well cause without them you wouldnt be able to laugh with the person you did.I know in this the person is the same and the circumstances is what has changed so perhaps letting go would at least help you hold the past memories fondly.Instead dont drag it further till you never want to have memories of this person in life.Love is not about having the person you want next to you! this is what most people think.Love is about wanting the person who is next to you!! think about it slight ly and you will surely figure out the distinct difference in it.Once again i really have to say its a very bold move to put the step forward,i know of people who are in long standing relationships which have fallen apart but yet both parties just hang on because neither wants to be blamed or wants to take the responsibility to move one step forward for the bettermen of the both!one more piece of advice dont try and get OVER him....thats not what you ideally should do.Try and let it in..cry if you need to..or laugh if you feel like it..anything really but let it in...you will see once you let it in..its nothing after all.Just that our defence mechanisms usually trick us by building more and more the longer we fight so we start seeign the bad and believing that it will harm you.It wont...keep the fond memories as the next endavour you have you will have a standard to fall back on...let the bad ones pass as they were the sheer negligence of someone who was possibly falling apart.Love does not seek one...Love finds one!As much as you may hurt he may hurt more.So perhaps if you could find a place in your heart that would let this in...and be a part of you then you would be not moving on...but moving forward.I hope i have not offended you in anyway.I do know it is the MOST impposibly difficult thing to go through as most of it is not in your control and i completely understand how you would feel.But i believe in you.and my faith of you is much higher then someone just about moving on..and i know you will step up.Once again im really sorry if i said anything wrong.I hope you will feel better and stronger soon.there is a lot that i would wish to say.But words will only be words if they were not in action and action will only remain an action if it was not implementation!So for now...may god always stand by you to keep you strong.My prayers will be with you! God bless you!! and stay strong.Regards!

Dear anonymous,

Few months ago, when I read your comment, I did not get what you were trying to say. It all seemed like words, and more words and no matter how hard I tried to get you, I just couldn't. Today, after a long time, it all makes sense. It really does. It was hard, yes, as it is always, but we all learn, to slowly let go. Of the pain, of the longing and attachments and also of the expectations that comes with ending a relationship. Letting go is what I am still doing, to let go of my old inhibition, my old self that was holding back so much, not from others but from myself. Thank you. I do not know if you are still reading the blog, since you do not want to tell me who you are anyway :P. Its okay, but thank you once again. For those words you said, makes a whole lot of sense now.