10 Best Answering Machine Messages*
10. My wife and I can't come to thephone right now, but if you'll leaveyour name and number, we'll get back toyou as soon as we're finished.
9 . Hello, you are talking to amachine.I am capable of receiving messages. Myowners do not need siding, windows or atub, and their carpets are clean. Theygive to charity at the office and don'tneed their picture taken. If you'restill with me, leave your name and homephone number and they will get back toyou.
8 . This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic thought-recordingdevice. After the tone, think aboutyourname, your number, and your reason forcalling.... and I'll think aboutreturning your call.
7 . Hi! John's answering machine isbroken. This is his refrigerator.Pleasespeak very slowly, and I'll stick yourmessage to myself with one of thesemagnets.
6 . Hi. This is John: If you are thephone company, I already sent themoney.If you are my parents, please sendmoney. If you are my bank, you didn'tlend me enough money. If you are myfriends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS ofmoney.
5 . A is for academics, B is for beer.One of those reasons is why we're nothere. So, leave a message.
4 . Hello! If you leave a message, I'llcall you soon. If you leave a"sexy"message, I'll call sooner.
3 . Hi. Now YOU say something.
2 . Hi. I'm probably home, I'm justavoiding someone I don't like. Leave mea message, and if I don't call back,it's you.
1 . Hello, you've reached Jim andSonya.We can't pick up the phone right now,because we're doing something we reallyenjoy. Sonya likes doing it up anddown,and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message, andwhen we're done brushing our teeth,we'll call you back.
10. My wife and I can't come to thephone right now, but if you'll leaveyour name and number, we'll get back toyou as soon as we're finished.
9 . Hello, you are talking to amachine.I am capable of receiving messages. Myowners do not need siding, windows or atub, and their carpets are clean. Theygive to charity at the office and don'tneed their picture taken. If you'restill with me, leave your name and homephone number and they will get back toyou.
8 . This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic thought-recordingdevice. After the tone, think aboutyourname, your number, and your reason forcalling.... and I'll think aboutreturning your call.
7 . Hi! John's answering machine isbroken. This is his refrigerator.Pleasespeak very slowly, and I'll stick yourmessage to myself with one of thesemagnets.
6 . Hi. This is John: If you are thephone company, I already sent themoney.If you are my parents, please sendmoney. If you are my bank, you didn'tlend me enough money. If you are myfriends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS ofmoney.
5 . A is for academics, B is for beer.One of those reasons is why we're nothere. So, leave a message.
4 . Hello! If you leave a message, I'llcall you soon. If you leave a"sexy"message, I'll call sooner.
3 . Hi. Now YOU say something.
2 . Hi. I'm probably home, I'm justavoiding someone I don't like. Leave mea message, and if I don't call back,it's you.
1 . Hello, you've reached Jim andSonya.We can't pick up the phone right now,because we're doing something we reallyenjoy. Sonya likes doing it up anddown,and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message, andwhen we're done brushing our teeth,we'll call you back.
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