3rd June 2009

I sat popping my antibiotics and meds and I realised how much I missed Parthi. I was there last year December, and though 6 months isn't that long, it feels decades ago. Last years' trip truly shook me up, gave me a new perspective on life, on spirituality on everything.

I am a point where I am questioning everything, perhaps not so much now, as it was before. I wondered on the reality of our being, on us, on religion and everything. An uncle we met there in Parthi told us that he believes that religion is just a stepping stone to God. You should be born in a religion but you should never die in the same religion. At that point of time, I didn't understand what he meant. I thought he just didn't grasp the whole meaning of religion, and plus if it wasn't that important, why do we have all these temples and even lessons on our religion in Balvikas.

But in the last 6 months, I grew. I went from doubting swami (yes I did, I won't deny this), to understand that we and Him are one, but as it goes, understanding a fact is not the same as realizing it. I realised that religion is indeed a stepping stone to realization. Every religion basically guides you to reach God. Not a god that lies in the seventh dimension of heaven, or a god that punishes you when you have wronged him, Not a god that has 10 arms that each holds a weapon to slay you but the god that is within you. To realise that in the end, this world that we hold so close to ourselves, where we feed of the triumphs and failures of the materialistic world, it doesn't even exist. And that meaning, you and him are one and the same.

It doesn't mean that religion has no significance or value. It does. You need religion to understand God and to understand the inner significances of all the rituals and prayers. But doesn't all religion proclaim that man and god are one? Religions may be flawed, yes but it must be there for a higher purpose. So, if man has indeed realised that god and him are one, and that everyone else on the planet also equivalent of the same Divine Love, do we still need to segregate and separate ourselves on the name of religion?

If you are a Hindu, or Buddhist, then you would believe in the Theory of Reincarnation. It says that man will be reborn again and again till he learns to break free from this cycle of samsara or pain and misery. What is it that binds us to this cycle of rebirth? Is it our attachments to everyday things, and people? Could our attachment to our religion also be a cause of our samsara? We are so blinded by rituals, perfoming pujas when we do not know the meaning, to cleanse our houses to ward off evil spirits when our hearts are not cleansed.


I think, we should seek to follow the inner significance of the teachings of the religion instead of blindly following and fighting with other races just to prove that we are higher, or flaunt that we are the oldest religion in the world. There has to be a reason why the religion lasted for as long as did. I am not saying doing prayers and pujas are wrong. But I think before you jump into doing something just because someone is doing it, or because someone told you to, it makes sense to try to reason what is it to you. Prayers help you to think of god, constant Intergrated awareness, as we call it. And when you are aware of god, being with you at all times, your mind ceases to jump around but rather you gain control over life, over your senses and your consciousness is sharpened.

It seems absurd and child-like when men fight among themselves, trying to convince themselves that their own religion is better than another. One who is a Hindu extremist now could very well be born as a Muslim in his next life. Then what, is he going to fight for Hinduism? Definately no. Religion exist as long as man separates himself from God. God isn't the bronze statue you have in your altar, he isn't just the voice that speaks from heaven. Look around you and then you will see that everything that exist in front you is GOD. In terms of physics, it can be said that every atom and molecule that vibrates with the kynetic energy is God.

But realising all these doesn't guarantee you that the reality cease to exist and you merge back into the oblivion, into Him. We are somewhat bound by our Karmas, and truth be told, it is easy to see that swami is in you, but the trouble begins when you have to start seeing Him in everyone else. In the waiter who serves you in the Mamak, in your boss who makes your life a living hell, in the people who irk and irritate you. It is not easy. We have to let go of all the attachments we have in regards to our expectations on how people should act, and how we should be treated. Maybe then realising that God is the same in one and all would be a little easier.

That said and done, I miss Parthi. I miss the warmth of the sun, (in December mind you, not in April to June :)), I miss the coconut stall, the warm, and friendly ladies in the North Indian Canteen, the ever smiling ladies of the Western Canteen, I miss the satsangs we were having last December, I miss waking up early and sitting in anticipation waiting for swami to come, and most of all, I miss the peace and tranquility, where being good was the norm, and mind you you don't even have a single bad thought about anyone because it is swami's abode. But here, it seems so difficult, so tough, to spare that extra time to pray and meditate in the morning, to refrain from talking bout others though they harm you. Haihh.. Swami.. Help..