Hello again.

Yes it has been a real long time since I last blogged. Perhaps almost more than a month ago, and even then it was just two post dedicated to the two special people in my life, my best friend Darshana and my dearest friend, Late Pravin (Rest in peace sweets).

I do apologize for not posting anything earlier. Been busy working, not exactly climbing the corporate ladder but more of gathering and gaining experience and knowledge. Nope, not done with Masters yet though.

Anyway I do have a new photoblog, which Im sharing with Darshana. Here is the link:-

http://www.flashyaffair.blogspot.com

Do check it out, and we would really appreciate your comments.

p.s: Here is a preview of what you will see in our photoblog

Will update soon.
xx
-me

She maybe small in size,
but she has one of the biggest heart anyone can have.
When I first saw her, I thought she was this stuck up girl,
who wouldn't even smile
And I have no idea how, but we randomly started talking,
if I am not mistaken, about hot chocolates (yes food :)) and some other things and we clicked. We then decided to meet and it turned out that we had more in common than anything.. We shared the same taste in food, movies, interest and freakishly, in life circumstances and events. Who would expect that we both came out of relationships at almost the same time, to fall for an unexpected person, having that not working out, and pleading temporary insanity, all in the same time.. Really freaky parallel universe kinda thing..

And we grew, from sharing our pain, and knowledge and happy happy times, we grew, mentally and emotionally stronger.

She is all one can ask for in a friend, in a sister, and we just click on all levels. I truly admire her honesty, zeal for life, the way she bounces back after troubles and she never has anything bad to say about anyone no matter what they did to her.

Babe, I truly honor having you in my life. Perhaps it only makes sense it is stated we are in a relationship because I do not think many share the bond we have. You inspire me, and you are always there to cheer and to listen and to share my pain and joy. I am glad we met that fateful day :)) Thanks sweets and Happy 24th Birthday.. May the Lord's grace always be with you, may He shower His love and blessings, and may He always keep you close to Him..


xoxoxooxoxoxoxo

me :)

I can't believe it has already been more than a day,
it feels just like seconds ago I heard the news
You were taken away too soon,
And you left us here
to cry and lament over your loss.

I will never understand why you did it,
I will never know what you were thinking,
I will never know what is that present you bought for me,
when we talked just mere days ago.

My heart breaks everytime I think of you,
I shed a tear everytime I see a picture of you,
It all seems like a nightmare that I cant shrug off,
It seems like you are never coming back.

Dearest Roachie,

I can't even remember when and why you got that name. Perhaps it was because of the dirty house you were staying in, and your love for cockroaches. But the name stuck on, just as how u used to call me "niu niu", in your funny voice, making me laugh every other time. I can't seem to remember when I first saw you, can't remember how we started talking, but I remembered us being good friends. I remember you calling so often, and always offering to call me since you claimed you were the working one. I remember how we used to talk nonsense and make jokes out of everything. I remember how conversations would be full of laughter and happiness. You were there when I needed someone to talk to. I am sorry roachie if i wasn't there for you :( My bad, I should have listened to you more, saw you more often and talked to you more. But you are not coming back, are you?

I remembered how we randomly met up in Midvalley, and you pretended to be gay. How we ogled and checked out boys, and you played along without any complain. I remember you pink girly phone with the butterfly. I want to call you right about now, but noone is going to answer it right? :( I can go on writing about all that you are, and how ever much I miss you. I can't believe you are gone. My tears are falling as I write this.

Pravin, there will never be a friend better than you, there will never be a man who can accomplish all that you have. You have been more than a friend, you were family to all of us. I truly miss you, and I am devasted by your death.

Rest in peace my dearest Roachie.
May the Lord guide and guard your soul
May the angels hold your hand as you dance in Heaven
You will be alive in our thoughts and in our hearts,
So long as we can breathe, we will miss you.

There are no EXIT buttons in this game of life.
The only way to exit is to reach your true goal, and mind you if you are still meeting challenges after reaching your goal, it only means you haven’t reached your true goal.

There are a few methods that can help you find your true goal, and the easiest way to have a heart to heart discussion with your heart. It knows the game, it knows the rules and everything that you need to know to survive and reach your goal. Your heart will tell you what it truly desires.

However, the game of life equips you with certain skills and equipments to help to combat the challenges. The weapon that is entrusted to you is your mind. It has the ability to combat your challenges if you use it wisely, but also to defeat and deceive you with false hopes and goals if you are not aware and alert. Values such being honest, loving, peace, non-violence and practicing right conduct are your bearings to ensure you are moving down the right path. By practicing austerities, you can then upgrade your weapon to a higher level. As you move along the game, the challenges get tougher, you get more attached to mundane things in life and you start finding it difficult to focus on your true goal. Other things may seem more important and you may feel you lack the ability and strength to reach the goal. Do not be duped by these two cousins of Time and Space. They are bound by your mind. Break the mind, and they will be unbound too.

When you reach the end of the game, the goal will be waiting just beyond the door. However the door is tiny, and miniscule, and here is where you drop everything you have to travel along the small dark path to reach the goal. Surrendering everything you own, every action and word and only when you own nothing of your own, you reach your true goal. You then become the goal yourself.



Your first and only clue to win this game:-


Follow the master,
Face the devil,
Fight to the end,
Finish the game

In this game of life, you are but a player. There are many others who are also playing the same game; everyone you see plays the game. However, some are aware they are playing, while some don’t and are merely floating and hence life plays them. Slowly teaching them, and helping them to see their true goal. It is easy to recognize those who are aware they are in the game. They walk purposefully, they stride with confidence, they have somewhat a glint in their eyes that shows they are moving to get what they want and they will not stop till they get it.

The most important rule in the game is to never take your eyes of the goal. It is a rule, your magic weapon, and it is something that you have to keep close to your mind at all times. As you go playing the game, you will learn many things which will either individually or collectively act as clues to help you reach the true goal. It is crucial to remember that every other person or challenge you meet in the game will have some lesson or knowledge that will help you to reach the goal. Some will teach you through word of mouth and some you learn by watching the mistakes of others.

As you move on through the game, you will realise there are other players’ who will also be playing parallel to you and often your paths will cross. This is where you need to practice the lessons you have picked up along the game. Some will test your courage, and often most will just distract you, especially those players who haven’t realised their true goal. Be careful of them. In playing the game, you need to remember that your baggage needs to be light. Travel as light as possible as you wouldn’t be using anything that you have accumulated over the years. As I have mentioned, be very alert of those whom you meet along the game as they may serve as a distraction from your true goal. There is no harm in getting distracted, but it slows you down, and if you are too attached to these distractions, you start losing track and sight of your true goal. Once this happens, be assured that though the goal is there, it takes a long time to get back on the right track and the path may seem more difficult.

These distractions can come in many shapes or forms, so always be careful of anything that seems to pry you away from your true goal. Happy or sad events, both may serve as a distraction. You may be rewarded as you move along the game based on your brownie points. You gain this points when you perform actions required of you, but again, do not be distracted with the rewards. Always remember to be detached as you play the game, or else the game may just play you. But this doesn’t mean you are not to play your role as you play the game. The game is a multi-player, multi-role strategy based game. As you move on the path, meeting challenges and people, you are to play your role, and with that try to reach the goal. The game of life may seem difficult and scary, and hence many decide to escape from the game by not consciously acting on the challenges and some even take their life.

The game of life

Welcome to the game of life, the most ancient, sacred and well played game. It is game that begun before you were born, and will continue long after you leave this mortal body. The game, like all games, has rules, and regulations. The game of life begins, when you realise your goal, your True goal that your heart’s desire. If you haven’t realized the goal, do not worry, as the game will help you realise this, as long as you keep an open mind and gain the ability to look beyond the senses.

The game truly begins, and doesn’t end in this timeline. It is beyond space and time, but not to worry; it does have some cheat-codes and clues, to ease your path. There are many other small, minute goals that you may focus on in this game for the time-being but however do not confuse that with the true goal. The true goal of the game, or as we say the Final check-point will only be revealed as you move on with the game. Once you have realised the true goal, the game may seem to look easy but it in fact will be harder, as you will face more challenges and increase your level of endurance, and strength.

The key to win this game is to always have your eyes on the goal. There will be many challenges, many distractions and devils and monsters that will try to harm and confuse you. Further explanation on this will be provided to help you combat these beings and to help you devise a plan to achieve your goal.

Close your eyes, and shut your senses. Listen to the voice of your heart and it will tell you what your goal is.

Once you know your true goal, the game truly begins.

Why is it that we do what we do? What I am referring to is the fact that we segregate people according to our likes and dislikes. Why do we categorize people into "us" and "them". Why is it always that "us", meaning "We" are the better ones, we are smarter, we are good and we give all these labels to ourselves, just because we are different from "them".

Oh it doesn't seem to matter, if "they" are smarter, and records are there to prove it, but we shun them and say, "oh he did well in his studies because he cheated, or things like some other higher authority would have pulled some strings". Why is it that we can't accept our defeat, why are we such sore losers that we blame everyone on earth for failures except to look within, to gain the insight and see that maybe, just maybe the problem lies here, within us.

Why do we judge, especially when someone is different from us? We ridicule them, we call them names, just because they do not follow the norms of the society. The norms that "we" created for everyone to follow. When someone defies, when he voices out things that we are afraid to say, what do we do? We laugh at him, we again ridicule and shun him. Just because, he is now not like us anymore. He is different, and hence he is not normal.

Norms, normal, abnormal, how can we ever separate people into categories when all of us are somewhat abnormal. We are all different aren't we, and every community and society is different. We all have our quirks and differences, but it saddens me to say that we rather disregard our differences and our uniqueness, just to fit the bill, to fit what the community and society call norm, basically to be just like "them". Year after year, decades after decades, so many things change, yet we hold on the notion that when someone is different, if he behaves differently, if he says something we wouldn't voice-out, if he likes things that we deem weird, we call him abnormal.

Whatever happened to individual rights, and freedom of being who you really are. If we really needed to conform to what the society expects of us, don't you think we would all be created exactly the same? Why did He take extra time to make each one of us different? And yet, in our ignorance, we subject ourselves to this mental torture, we keep our ideas on hold, afraid what would others think of us, we hide our true identity afraid people will shun and ridicule us, and slowly, we begin to lose our true self, our uniqueness, our individuality, just because we got to be the sheep, and just like what my friend Vijay often says, we form the herd mentality, we wait for orders, we are afraid to move beyond our comfort zone, and yet we ridicule those who do.

With this note, let us reflect on M.J. Just how many of us ridiculed him, just because he was different, because he wanted to look different? How many of us believed the stories of him being a pedophile and we developed a distaste for him, though his music speaks beyond nations and colour? It was so easy to disregard a person, to believe the worst in them and pretend, that we are higher, mightier, better. Maybe with this, perhaps it is time for us to stop and change. Lets stop laughing at someone just because he/she is fashion-challenged, lets not laugh at the slow kid in class, lets not bully those who can't conform, lets not make fun of those we deem crazy and mental, but rather let us be who we are, and let others be who they want to be. Lets love and accept, for only through that we shine, and we grow, collectively beautiful, inside and out.

Rest in Peace M.J.

I have been reading a lot, and at times it seems that no matter how ever much you read, there are somethings that are beyond the understanding of the limited capacity of human intellect. So what do you do then? Ignore the questions that keep pounding and pouncing on you when you try your level best to ignore them? Or do you continue reading, hoping that your limited mind, expands and you learn to see things beyond this physical world, that is actually superimposed on the infinite world. Well that is what Swami Rama said in "Living with the Himalayan Master".

Reading that book at night and the alchemist by Paolo Coelho in the day time, had me thinking. Our true reason of being here. Both authors are renowned writers, one a renunciate and the other a novellist who delights in the smallest magical wonder of this finite world. Paolo talks about Personal Legend, and I started wondering what is my personal legend. Personal legend according to paolo is something that you truly desire to accomplish here on earth and everyone has that, but it so happens that life often throws you carelessly like a wave on rocks, and you end up throwing your personal legend away. He also says that as children you would know what is your personal legend but you slowly start forgetting it or assuming that you do not reserve to go after it since so many people meet failure when they try.

So what is my personal legend? I am not entirely sure. I remembered when I was 8, I started wondering why are we here? And now that I am 24, I know what I want to gain from being here, I know what is the purpose of being here, but I still do not know why we are even here in the 1st place. The reason for creation. And maybe, just maybe my personal legend would be to find out the answer to this. It may take my whole entire life, but pursuits of such, to find your personal legend is indeed timeless, and as Paolo Coelho continues to say in the story, the King adviced the boy to continue finding his Personal legend and to continue the journey until he finds what he wants to find. In the process he is to remember that Everything is one and the same, and also that the boy should listen and follow the Omens.

It is not as absurd as it may sound. All of us do indeed have that one thing, one reason for living, that maybe hidden deep inside our mind and consciousness. We may think it is not practical to do what our hearts desire, things may not go well and such. And so we ignore this personal need, be it to travel to the furthest corner of the world, to climb the highest mountain, to find your heart's true love or anything at all. We continue living, pretending that we did ourselves a big favour by not going for our dreams, that we saved ourselves from pain and failure that we might face if we had gone on reaching our dreams.

So with regards to my Personal Legend, I don't even know what exactly it is. Is it answering these questions that keep bubbling inside of me or is it some other things that I have successfully hidden in the depth of being? All I know is I would like to travel, to all corners of the worls, learn the language of the unspoken, learn from the elements and just Be :)Perhaps That is my Personal Legend.

The room was dark. It was humid and she felt as if it was closing in on her. Bumps and weird formation had started appearing on the walls, making it seem as if it was swollen, with perhaps some unidentified disease. She was freaking out. There was nothing here for her, not right now, not with the condition of her home like this. She loved it, more than anything, and there was only one occasion where she had left home before. And even that was a long time ago, she barely remembered the details.

And so she packed, and she left. It had been more than 24 hours, and no one knew where she had gone to. There's faint hope she might be coming back.

Ask me, I should know but I don't. She is gone. And I pray she returns, soon. I cant work without her.

Oh damn..


My voice took a drive to the oblivion and hasn't returned. I am doomed.. :(