i have been busy.. classes everyday n all.. no time for anything.. so stressed out that i got another cold sore.. damn.. i need to learn to apply all the relaxation techniques i learned on myself..:)) had an exam today. The questions that were asked had nothing to do with what we were told or advised on. So I am sure you will understand our frustrations. Plus, on top of that, the lecturer had the nerve of smirking through out the whole exams, just because he knew we didnt like him at all, and thought the worst of him. It is true anyway. Alright, enough of that.

I like it now, life seems ok. "I know its tough but I have to do this for our future. Me and you." Its hard of course, who ever said it wasn't. But in life we learn, through pain and happiness, its just a cycle. Wheel of life.. How Buddhist is this? I don't think I have the liberty of coming online so often anymore and writing this. I almost feel guilty doing this. Well, will try to update the blog as often as i can.. :))

Have a good Weekend..

Its been a hectic week, tiring weekend, and pleasant day. Actually not so much of the day being pleasant. It was fine. Just plain fine. My convocation was on Monday :) yep big smiles. I am officially done with my degree. I wasn't feeling excited or even deliriously happy regarding my graduation. Perhaps its because I am still studying, still lugging my bad across KL, still walking here and there and getting dark, and perhaps, because I am still going to classes, and have tonnes of assignments due!! But then, I actually started getting nervous, and had tiny-weeny butterflies in my stomach on Monday :).. Actually that was probably cause I was pissed and nervous since the Uni forgot to attach my parents' entrance pass in the bag with my robe. Had to go early and get them and it was a dreadfully hot day. Was ALREADY sweating pails by the time I entered the hall for the ceremony. Anyway, it was really fun, getting to meet up with old friends, took a lot of photos :) will post in my Facebook account.. hehe.. And when to the studio to take a couple of shots with the family..

Dad couldn't make it though and I didnt feel the need to invite so many people, mainly because I was still studying. Lets just hope I will be able to graduate this time too, haihh... Course is getting difficult, Im getting lost and blur. The mountain of assignments seem to be ever rising, and guess what?? My theses proposal is due in 2 weeks time, and I don't even have a topic yet.. arghh.. Seriously, things just dun seem to get better at all..What law was it again? Murphy's Law I think. Saying something like, if there are chances for something to go wrong, everything else will be going wrong. I don't know exactly.:)

But then again, its not like I don't like my course or I'm complaining about it, I am just a lil stressed if I will be able to handle all these assignments and workload.. I sure hope I do.. I cant afford to screw up this.. Pray for me...

argghhhh...
stupid stupid guy... I went for a haircut.. In a saloon in Sg Wang..
He chopped off my fringe... I didnt ask to look like a japanese doll..
Noooo... Its horrible, horrifyin, terrifying..

haihhhh... I have to just wait for it to grow out..

I saw this message on someone's shoutout and I think it hit home.
"Love the heart that hurts you and never hurt the heart that loves you".
I thought that if you push yourself away from the problem, or pain, it won't be able to hurt you. Little did I realise, it doesn't matter how far you try to go, it will still sneak up behind you and hurt you anyways.

So there is this person, A, who wasn't very kind to me and owes me something, and I decided that its time to ask back for it. But apparently that person then said some mean things about me just becaused I asked for it back. And started ignoring every call or message. I was upset, because I wasn't what A claimed I was. Then it dawned on me. It will be painful, it will be hurting if I allow it to hurt me.

As my lecturer Dr Alvin had always said, a problem will only be a problem if you think its a problem. Thus, hmm. if A doesn't want to give it back, no problems. I will assume and change the way i react and assume the situation. Take it as I donated all those to A. It won't change me. .


That said and done, I am glad I got into the Master's program. Its probably one of my greatest accomplishment so far. Out of 70 plus only 11 of us are in the course. That isn't why Im gloating about it. I am happy because Im actually getting to understand myself. Why I am the way I am and how I respond in relation to others, family, and friends. I can now identify what went wrong were and how I can now change somethings that I wasn't happy about...

I may not be perfect. There are are a lot of parts of me that I need to work on and change. But so what. Who's perfect?? I am happy being me. Thats why I am me!
And for you, A, you know who you are. If you think I am what you said I am, so be it. If you decide to ignore my messages and pretend I don't exist anymore, so be it. Keep it.. I forgive you anyway..

Life is liberating once you learn to step back and breathe and not bother about what others think about you.. Thats my motto now :))